The Choices of Heroes
by CloudsOfHindrance
Summary: Sometimes the choices heroes make, effect their lives as well as the lives of the people they try to save.


**Disclaimer: Teen Titans is, has not, or will ever be in my possession.**

**It seems that I'm full of one-shots lately but this one is for two of my friends, Tracey and Michael that recently lost someone very dear to them. He asked me to write something and I told him that I don't have a talent for poetry, so I wrote this.**

**Dedication: To Trace and Mickie, the strongest couple that I know…**

**Robin's POV

* * *

**

Two weeks…two weeks since we lost what had mattered most…

Two weeks that I had to be strong for my love and fight back the tears that threatened to fall…

Two weeks since those bastards had us make a choice between a life we created and the lives of Earth…

The Justice League had said that the mission was a dire situation in which some alien threat had plotted to destroy all life as we knew it. All of us had reconvened for this final battle, Titans East and West, at the JLA headquarters. The mystic I'd grown to love and took as my wife was two months along, her stomach barely bulged but her ashen skin glowed as a sign. I'd protested of course, being the protective husband that I am, but she was Raven, mistress of glares and death threats. The heated discussion ended with her by my side in the T-Ship, refreshed and renewed to fly us back into the glory days. She had already begun to bond with the unborn child inside of her as was I. Nothing made us happier…and nothing had hurt us more…

Foreign missiles had been predicted by long-range satellites, almost an entire light-year away but were coming quickly, forty-two hours until the calculated crash, their destination being Earth. In mere minutes, several solutions were estimated to change the deadly outcome. The rockets would pass by the headquarters directly and when they did, the Justice League would fire the defense systems…shoot them out of the sky. But there was always a risk, always a risk of failure. And to minimize that risk, Raven would create blocks of her energy to protect the unsuspecting citizens below from debris and any warhead that escaped the attack.

I knew something was wrong when her amethyst eyes shone bright with fear for just a minute portion of time before she nodded with approval. She was supposed to be the backup plan…the final solution. I thought it unfair to burden her with the responsibility. Surely, there could be another way out, another way that didn't make my heart clench at the simple thought of it. While I was contemplating, Raven had disappeared with not so much as a rustle of her cloak. I searched for her. Our temporary room…the observation deck…the bathroom…and half an hour later, I found her in a place I had never ventured. I wasn't too fond of the scarce light and sudden creaks and groans. It was the lowest level of the astronomical station. The basement.

Her form was nearly invisible, the darkness, her most beloved element, tried to hide her from me but there she was, perched on a small packing box, her face hidden by her pale hands.

"Raven?" My voice echoed around the room, making it louder than I intended, and she flinched noticeably. My Raven does not flinch. A mixture of a gasp and sob erupted from her before she had flung herself into my arms. I took her willingly, sorrowfully. Something was wrong, terribly so but for now, my mind did not guess that the thing that evoked such behavior in her would momentarily destroy me, render me useless, powerless against the outcome.

Her shoulders stilled but relaxed and I could feel the dampness her tears left through my uniform. I stayed silent, knowing that sooner or later she would reveal what was bothering her. It was sooner.

"I can't…" I've never heard her speak in such a fragile way.

"Can't do what?"

"What they ask of me. I know that I must but I don't want to…I don't want to give her up…not yet…" I was still dumbfounded. I had no idea of what she was speaking but she continued. "If I shield them…we'll lose her…we'll lose her forever. Something that you've given me…something that's too precious to die." I felt her arm drag across my waist and place itself on her abdomen between us.

The dampness grew, she had begun to cry again as revelation almost sent me into shock. Suddenly it hurt to breath and every thought of my mind transformed into an endless scream of 'no!' Emotions swirled within me, taking a physical form of nausea and blurred vision. My knees wobbled and I fell to the floor with a thud, sending pain through my numbed limbs. Raven remained with me, falling in my arms. We had a choice. We could have said, "Fuck the world!" but as heroes, it wasn't that simple.

I could say nothing to comfort her and vice versa. Morning came and we were there, on the cold floor…with nothing to say at all.

* * *

I'd explained it to them, the Justice League, what would happen if Raven went through with this. That the strain of protecting Earth would kill our baby. This action was due to happen in less than twenty hours. Our Tamaranean gasped loudly and stepped forward, only to stop when I shook my head at her. I knew she only wanted to offer comfort but I didn't want comfort. I wanted my child to live. The Titans left their sympathy unspoken, hanging their heads in acceptance. Little remorse passed the older group, I saw it on their faces, forever stagnant and unfeeling. Especially the countenance of my former mentor. With that cowl drawn over his head, no other expression was allowed in the view of the public.

I let it slide, leaving the anger and frustration brewing beneath the surface. I asked, almost pleaded, for another way and in response, to quote, I received: "The lives of the many outnumber the life of the one." I growled, not willing to admit defeat but after Batman spoke, I snapped. "This is the only way." He had trained me well because in two simple moves, I had him trapped between his own bat-a-rang and the wall.

"Don't you **dare** tell me that this is the only way. I refuse to let this happen. You don't know how it feels to know that by tomorrow, the child that you've made with the woman you love, will never get to live. I don't care how impossible it may seem, I **won't** let it happen," I spoke inhumanly, the words flowed out regardless of the breaks and cracks. During my rant, the sharp edge pierced the fabric covering the Bat's neck, allowing small droplets of blood to pour onto the weapon. I shoved away from him before storming out the main doors, permitting my feet to carry me anywhere they desired. Little did I know that the future would make a liar out of me.

* * *

Five minutes until the end of the world and so far I had no way out. I stood with my hands folded across the blue bird that symbolized the mother of my unborn. I couldn't withstand the knowledge of my 'destiny.' Now I truly know why Raven had given up hope once. The future looked bleak…the future was five minutes away and there was no way to change it. 'Fate' as it seems, has a bad sense of humor.

A hiss of air escaped the doors, alerting us that someone was entering. It was Raven, her hood drawn and head hung low. That was the first time she had been in the company of others, the first time anyone had seen her besides me, and Starfire immediately zoomed to her.

"Friend Raven-" A black dome appeared, separating the two instantaneously. I knew how she felt for I felt the same. I had wanted no one to touch nor speak to me. Raven had done it nicely. She walked on into the center of the room, not even sparing a glance to the princess.

"I need to see," Four words spoken in a dry monotone, drier than usual.

Flash pushed a button on a console and the monitors converted into windows that reached from the ceiling to the floor.

**_"Airspace breached. Proceed with defensive measures?"_** The computer droned in a feminine voice and waited for a confirmation.

"Proceed." Superman ordered when Flash seemed to be incapable of speech.

**_"Defensive measures activated."_** I hate that damn computer.

"Raven, are you ready?" The Man of Steel spoke again, asking a question no one wanted answered and he didn't obtain one. Raven slipped into her meditative stance, her legs crossed at the ankles and her thumbs holding down her pointer and middle fingers. I'd seen that pose millions of times before. I loved to see her meditate but now…so much has changed. So much will change.

Several explosions marked the beginning. Some could even be seen in the distance. A few more minutes passed by and all was silent, no more balls of fire or rolls of thunder. I allowed my hopes to gather. Maybe it wasn't necessary.

Raven was immobile and hastily her shoulders tensed as the base began to shake. At first, I assumed it was her but that assumption was soon cast aside. The shaking was the effect of the rockets coming closer, over a dozen of them. I didn't notice when or how I had gotten closer to her, but I was there, stationed by her side.

The shaking grew to a climax and dropped as the deadly objects flew by.

"Raven!" Zatanna shouted and at that moment…I never had a stronger desire to strangle the life out of someone.

**_"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!"_** The last thing I saw was her profile shoot upwards and her eyes glow that familiar misty white. After that, I clenched my eyes shut in order to force the tears away. Seconds passed like hours, freezing my blood and lurching my stomach. A sharp pain like a tear ripped through my torso and it took me a second to realize that it wasn't my pain. It was Raven's. I was feeling our baby die through our link. I grabbed for her aura, unsure of what I was trying to accomplish but she tightened her hold just as tightly.

A thud opened my eyes and Raven was no longer floating next to me. She was lying on the floor with her legs out beside her, one lying on the other, and her arms propping her up. Her hood had fallen and purple locks cascaded around her face. I dropped before her and put the palm of my left hand to her cheek. She revealed her amethyst eyes to me and the drops trailed down like waterfalls.

My fallen angel…

* * *

Two weeks…two weeks since we lost what had mattered most…

Two weeks that I had to be strong for my love and fight back the tears that threatened to fall…

People called with their condolences but we never picked up the phone.

People visited with flowers in tow but we never opened the door.

I had only cried once. The first time that I had found out. I'm in our home gym, hacking away at the punching bag, the only piece of equipment still functional. We need our time apart…to think about things. I would go insane if I had to watch her so emotionally distraught and I couldn't console her. Besides, she would toss me out if she wanted to be alone. Which was, as of late, not too often.

I hear something outside the room but I don't acknowledge it. I continue with the punishment of the bag that was punishing me in return. My knuckles were bleeding. I don't know when it started but I really don't give a damn. I could feel the material start to give way and knew it wasn't long before it punctured like the four others. The door opens and I ignore it.

"Nightwing…" Bruce. I wonder who else he's brought along to check up on us? I perform a roundhouse kick to get a view of the unwanted company and saw quite a few of our friends and some who haven't gained such title. Flash, Zatanna, Cyborg, Starfire, Changeling, Aquaman, Arsenal, and I think I saw a glimpse of Superman. I would turn around but again…I don't give a damn.

"Where's Raven?" It was Bruce talking again. Please, for the love of all things mortal, let him disintegrate into dust…

"Nightwing…" I don't respond. He calls my name again and all he gets is the sound of the punching bag spilling its contents over the floor. The door has been opened again before Bruce had the chance of calling me again. All is quiet and I stand there with my shoulders heaving incredibly from the brutal exercise I've forced myself to withstand for the past…what is it? Five hours? That sounds about right. I sense Raven before I feel her touch on my back. I turn to meet her so that I can see the remainder of them in my peripheral vision. Nothing has changed from two weeks ago and now. Nothing either of us can say will make the situation better.

Her hand travels behind my neck, pulling my head down to hers so that our foreheads are touching. I'm pulled closer into her warm embrace and I barely hear her say to the others: "Get out." They gradually follow her orders and we are left alone with nothing to say. But we don't have to speak. The situation will have to get better on its own…with time…with each other.

"Heroes are allowed to cry. And I'm certain that we're heroes now," Raven gently forces my head into the junction of her neck and shoulder. I no longer force them back and grant them freedom. The salty water leaks from my eyes and I don't stop them this time.

* * *

**This was extremely melancholy and not my usual style. I don't know if this was any good but I gave it a shot. I'm glad I got this opportunity even though it's in the hands of a tragedy. There was a fair amount of repetition and it was on purpose, just in case you're wondering. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them. **


End file.
